Office Zone ID Card/Badge Printing Systems–Heaven-Sent Machines That Make Photos From Hell

Posted by: admin on June 6th, 2008

Pebble 4 ID badge printerWhy is it no one has ever taken a flattering ID photo? Even more perplexing, why do the same people, who use the same or lesser technology, always have over-flattering pictures of themselves on their online profiles (e.g. My Space)? Neither discrepancy is good. If you fail to recognize someone because they “looked different in their picture,” it could be embarrassing for both of you. If you sneak a peak of an otherwise attractive person’s driver’s license photo–which looks like something from a “Genetic Experiments Gone Horribly Wrong” government file–you may have a hard time striking it from your mental record. There’s nothing we–or anyone else, for that matter–can do about this unexplainable phenomenon. But what we can do is offer the fastest, easiest way to print ID cards for your personal or business use. We have Polaroid-style systems for making IDs and we have digital-style systems that make IDs for you. They are guaranteed to be the lowest price anywhere, just as surely as they’re guaranteed to make you look like you just received the Manager’s VIP treatment at the Bates’ Motel. Why it’s impossible to be pleased with the results of the photos themselves, who knows, but we can assure you you’ll pleased with the system.

ID cards are crucial for any office or store with a larger-than-tiny staff. Besides, not-so-great photos are less painful than a robbery due to not-so-great security.



Better To Be A Hammer Than A Nail In The Coffin–Security Equipment From Office Zone

Posted by: admin on June 4th, 2008

surveillance system

Some people think home and business owners with video surveillance systems are paranoid. I disagree. I consider a better example of paranoia to be a friend of mine who is absolutely convinced he is going to spontaneously combust. He heard somewhere that one in every billion or so people will just explode for no scientific reason at all. Having what he thinks is a lifetime of bad luck, he takes the most unlikely of circumstances to be exceptional odds in his favor–or disfavor, depending on how you look at it. He avoids spicy or heavily acidic foods, as if they act as some sort of detonator for the bodily land mine that encases him. Robbery, burglary, assault, shoplifting and murder occur every hour of every day. It seems to me, it’s just as naive to think certain people are somehow immune to experiencing such travesties as it is to think certain people are destined to experience such travesties…like inexplicably bursting into pieces. In comparison, I’d rather be the epitome of paranoia than the victim of crime any day.

Security systems save money, property and even lives. Our high-tech equipment can suit the needs of any home or business, regardless of their size. We have cameras, recorders, alarms and many other items and accessories to protect yourself, your business, your family, or all of the above.



Right Numbers Every Time? Don’t Count On It, Get A Counter On It–Coin Counters From Office Zone

Posted by: admin on May 30th, 2008

electric coin counter 3310Imagine your business does 100 transactions with monetary currency per day (or don’t imagine it does, if yours happens to do exactly 100 every day, but keep reading anyway). If every transaction was short a dime, by the end of one year, your cash losses would total $3650–enough money to buy a coin counter that could suit you even if your business was on the Las Vegas Strip and still have enough left over to ride The Stratosphere 30 consecutive times (We strongly recommend you get the coin counter; we strongly recommend you don’t ride The Stratosphere 30 consecutive times).

Basically, every business needs two kinds of money counters: the human kind and the machine kind. Both have features that the other can’t mimic. The human kind calculates, researches and audits. The machine kind never adjusts its figures to benefit itself.

When dealing with pocket change, being wrong once is not a problem; being wrong once every half-hour, all day long–which can happen with the human kind, not the machine kind– is a very expensive problem. Coin counters are the best way for businesses to be exact, right down to the last penny. I’m not sure what the best way is to ensure exactness with the other kind of counter. Perhaps hire the one that’s the most like a machine… oops, I forgot we were talking about accountants–that could be a very difficult task.



Old Time Clocks Need To Punch Out–High-Quality Time Clocks From Office Zone

Posted by: admin on May 27th, 2008

Statistics prove that over 100% of employees are unhappy with their current time clock system (margin of error: 100%). It’s probably not that bad, but if your time clock was the model that replaced the large-fanged, prehistoric bird from The Flinstones, perhaps the time has come for IT to be replaced. When a time clock malfunctions, the repercussions can be extremely frustrating for the employees. It’s no coincidence that most people’s payment due dates on their bills coincide with their paydays. Often times, if someone’s pay check is a day late–which usually translates to the following week, being a Friday–their bill payment or payments won’t clear. When that occurs, a “service fee” for insufficient funds is added to their account. These fees run the employee, who was not acting irresponsibly, anywhere from $20 to $30 for every check that isn’t covered. Even peopTime Trax Prole with “overdraft protection” of some kind are required to pay a “transfer fee” of six to ten dollars.

A time clock malfunction is also taxing on the department–generally accounting–charged with correcting the problem. Overtime hours that ought to be spent otherwise, are wasted calculating figures that should be automatic. If this department has to guess or rely on the employees’ memories, the process can also be financially burdening. So get a new time clock for your store or office. Put the old one by the entrance and mark it “solicitor check-in.”



Violence Against Office Machines On The Rise–Equipment That Doesn’t Jam, From Office Zone

Posted by: admin on May 21st, 2008

Every office has one machine that makes whoever is using it want to throw it off the freeway overpass in front of an oncoming semi carrying someone’s new double-wide. We at Office Zone are proud of the fact that said machine is almost always a so-called “fax/copy/printer,” which we do not sell. A more accurate name would be “a stress/anger/blood pressure raiser.” It seems to do more of the latter than the former. Isn’t it amazing how a machine that–regardless of which of its three functions it’s performing–only processes one sheet of paper at a time and still manages to get jammed or experience similar problems? When one of our paper shredders, for instance, jams, it’s almost always because it was used incorrectly. Our shredders destroy 10, 20, even 100’s of sheets of paper at one time, depending on the model. You can consistently stick whole reams of paper into some of our cutters for several hours and not get a jam. Our machines, from laminators to vacuum sealers, do not cause problems when they are used for appropriately-sized tasks. We invariably have larger machines to accommodate bigger jobs. So, the next time your attempt to fax, copy or print fails and leaves you with “electronicidal” tendencies, I hope you think of us and all of the machines that you wouldn’t put in your enemy’s bed while he’s sleeping.

Taylor Formax FD 8900 CC Industrial Shredder


Office Zone Envelope Openers VS. A Team Of Ten Monkeys

Posted by: admin on May 8th, 2008

Envelope openers or “envelopeners,” as I call them, are extremely useful in an office setting, particularly to companies that receive large quantities of mail. Monkeys, on the other hand, have been proven to be less FD 450 Envelope Openereffective in a “white collar” environment. Some envelope openers can prepare 350 letters for reading in one minute. Ten monkeys would be able to destroy 350 letters beyond recognition in one minute. Our machines safely and evenly cut envelopes without damaging the contents. Again, ten monkeys would be able to destroy 350 letters beyond recognition. Our envelope openers are of the highest quality and guaranteed to be priced lower than anywhere else. Primates of any species are expensive to care for and difficult to acquire; not to mention the cost of all the fines that would inevitably be imposed for employing ten of them. We have both manual and automatic machines with a variety of time-saving features. Opening letters with your hands is tiring and often results in paper cuts. Using the unsharp, dagger-looking device might get old fast but there’s nothing speedy about the way it does its job. Envelope openers, especially the automatic machines, enable office personnel to attend to more substantial things than opening letters (which is anything unless your job is to prove O.J. Simpson’s innocence). Besides, monkeys use their hands to open their mail–humans should use technology.



What You Saw Is What You Get–Foam Cutters From Office Zone

Posted by: admin on May 2nd, 2008

Junior 135In the world of construction, materials such as insulation, stucco and even some types of concrete are considered “foam.” Most of us hear that term and think of beer or rabid animals (notice OR as opposed to AND–never combine beer with rabid animals). Anyone who has ever tried to cut foam (in the industrial sense) with a conventional tool knows why Michelagelo never used it to sculpt anything. If he had, “David” would probably look like Jabba the Hut. Fortunately, home improvers and home builders alike no longer need to use their knives and saws to try to shape awkward blocks of foam–economy-size, insulation-slicing foam cutters deliver perfectly even cuts every time. Our foam cutters are the strongest, lightest (relative to mass), and most durable systems on the market. (“On the market” means “in the world, that we know of.” The government might have a nuclear cutter that penetrates interstellar foam from asteroids.) We guarantee we have the lowest prices and the highest quality, so whether its for home or work or both, you can stop trying to defy the laws of nature and renovation and start using the machine that was created to do that job.



Paper Folder/Sealers, Instead of Account Holder Stealers.

Posted by: admin on April 14th, 2008

Certain documents, most notably government checks, require folding and tearing the ends to open them. These documents, that are also their own envelopes, are called “mailers.” As much as it may seem like whoever issued the check is just hoping to frustrate you into not cashing it, they are actually just protecting you. Documents like paychecks contain private financial information that can be used to steal your identity, even if the culprit can’t cash the check (which he/she can’t, unless the bank teller is a runaway circus monkey). When a document is also a sealed envelope, the recipient can be assured that it has not been tampered with. Every business should have one the machines that seals mailers. They’re called folder/sealers and they are not complicated. Some of them work in correlation with select printers so that the mailers never touch anyone’s hands until they’ve been sealed. Folder/sealers only work with paper that has the pressure sensitive adhesive strips intended for mailers, but buying specialty paper is a lot less expensive than an identity theft-liability lawsuit. Plus, they’re just convenient because anyone can use them… even if all of your employees are runaway circus monkeys.



Looking to purchase commercial quality vacuum sealer

Posted by: Morgan on January 30th, 2008



I am looking to purchase a commercial quality vacuum sealer for a small production company looking to start a product line. The initial product that I would like to start with is about 6 inches in length and 1 1/2 inches wide. It resembles a salami or sausage.

I would like more information about your products and the various bags that may come with different units.

The sealers I am interested in are:

Minipack MVS 41

MVS 31

Economy Vacuum Sealer

Minipack Fast Vac

Are there any warranties with these units? Are some better or worse for specific packaging?

Thank you for your time,



Thank you for your question. I highly recommend the model MVS 45 industrial-strength vacuum
sealer. You can use it all day long and it will never tire. It was designed to vacuum seal food items, but works just as well with non-food products.

This vacuum sealer is not a cheap, home-use machine, yet it’s fairly simple to use. The MVS 45 is able to remove 99.9% of the air surrounding the product. It is ideal for protecting and
preserving just about anything. It can also be adjusted to handle delicate products, such as potato chips, by adjusting the amount of removed air in the product’s bag. You can see this impressive vacuum sealing workhorse in action by going here:


Most of our vacuum sealers come standard with either a 90-day or one-year warranty, depending on the model.


Do manufacturers lie about machine specifications?

Posted by: Morgan on October 23rd, 2007

We had a customer ask us the other day if manufacturers misrepresent the capabilities of their machines. A common point of confusion is automatic paper folding machines. Take the MBM 206M High-Volume Paper Folder for example. MBM claims the speed of this machine’s motor is capable of folding a whopping 10,500 letters per hour — an impressive number, no doubt.

After some informal in-house testing here at Office Zone, we’ve verified that this machine’s motor is indeed capable of this kind of volume. MBM has had other outside sources verify this number too. However, we obviously do not recommend you continually operate your paper folder, or any other machinery for that matter, at its maximum operating speed for long stretches of time. That would be like running your car at 120 mph. Yes, your car would mostly likely do 120, but aside from risking your neck and jail time, doing this would increase wear and tear to various parts — dramatically cutting the lifespan of your car. The same is true for office equipment.

The best thing for you to do — if you are using a paper folding machine for example — is to look up the folder’s duty cycle, included in the product manual. Or you can always ask an authorized representative like Office Zone. This will tell you how many hours the machine could be realistically used in a day.